Archive for Aging

Time

10 December 2012

Is time your friend, or is it a foe? Do you do battle with it every day trying to jam as much into it as possible or do you see it as gentle friend that grants you the ability to do those things that make you happy?

I got to thinking about time in this way while watching a Star Trek movie where the villain “Soran” says that time is a predator because it stalks you your whole life until finally it says “time’s up” and then it’s over. Star Trek Captain Picard likens it to a companion that accompanies you on your life’s journey.

If you have read my past blogs, you know that I have been obsessed with time to the point that I have made a sizable investment in clocks. I attribute this to seeing too many people’s lives cut a bit too short for my way of thinking. That and I demand to live to at least 300 years old. Yes, I hear you, “Good luck with that.” I am still holding out for rejuvenation.

Time is an odd commodity. Much like air, you take it for granted until it’s all used up and then you wish you’d had much more. You can see the time you have on earth as being on parole from an impending death sentence or you can see it as a wonderful gift granted to you to live any way you wish.

For the longest time I viewed time in that negative sense. Rushing around, fretting about lost seconds and wishing I had done this or that another way. I have come to a point in my life where I realize that it’s all good; all the mistakes in my life, all the missed opportunities are all part of living. The hard times and the good times are what life is made of. I only wish I had been able to see time, my life, in this way much earlier. Oh, I had glimpses of it in my twenties, but life got in the way and I misplaced the lesson.

So now I firmly believe that there are no mistakes in life, only lessons. I believe in stopping and smelling the roses at every opportunity. I believe that love really is the answer and that if you don’t believe that, you don’t understand the question. Whenever I start to wander from thinking that way I stop and remember what Bob Dylan said so many years ago. “Ah, but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.”

If time is your friend, make it an intimate lover. If time is a foe, it’s high time you invited that demon into your heart and embraced it.

Categories : Aging, Life Lessons
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The Paper Bag

09 October 2012

I recently was told a real life story about a friend whose father had passed away. The story impressed me because it contained lessons about life, relationships, career and all across the board of living.

His dad was an educated and, shall we say, enlightened man. As he got into retirement he systematically began reducing the amount of stuff (read “excess baggage”) he had accumulated in his life. It came time for my friend to go to his father’s assisted living facility to retrieve his last possessions after the funeral. He walked away with a single paper bag of his father’s most cherished possessions and he realized that in those final years, his father had been working his way down to that paper bag.

When I heard this story I had one of those “stop me in my tracks” moments. What a wonderfully loving, kind, intelligent and efficient way to not only “pass the torch” to his son, but also teach his son a way to live life.

The “things” we accumulate in life; the cars, the houses, the bright shiny things, are probably the least important pieces of life. “The guy who has the most toys when he dies, wins” is a cruel deception.  It’s what we do with our possessions that is important. It’s better to give them away to help someone else than to hoard it in a big pile of self gratification.

Relationships are important to us and the ones we love when the giving and taking are equal. Drop the relationships that drag you down; cherish the ones that build you up. Beware the vampires who are all about the taking for themselves and give back nothing. When you have nothing else to give, they will walk away and look for another to feed from.

What the father did leave his son was the love and the memories of a life well lived. If his son remembers the lesson, he will pass it along to whomever he is closest to. This is one way to achieve a sense of immortality and to leave a legacy to be proud of.

As it is when you walk through a pristine forest, leave nothing behind, take only memories. Work yourself down to that final paper bag. What will be your legacy to pass on?

Categories : Aging, Life Changes, Life Lessons
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Both Sides Now

09 May 2012

As you may know from my previous blogs, I have a thing for music with a meaning. There is a song by Joni Mitchell called “Both Sides Now.” The sixties version is uplifting, “airy,” and almost fun. The version on the album “Dreamland” released in 2004 is very different. Her voice is much lower and earthier (think heavy smoker); the music is orchestrated and ethereal, almost dreamlike. She sings from a place that has seen much that life has handed her. She is still the same person, but she looks at things differently now. The emotion and feeling in it will put tears in my eyes every time I hear it.

The difference, in my opinion, is what a twenty something person thinks the other side of life is (of age, of love, a career, you fill in the blank) and what it really looks like when you actually get there. It would be an easy to put a negative spin on the meaning of this song; however a different way to look at it would be to compare it to climbing a mountain.

In the beginning the foothills are easy to cross, you can run through the green lush valleys and skip up the gentle hills. But as the grade gets steeper, the climb gets harder and slower; it’s harder to breathe because the air is thinner. Just putting one foot in front of another becomes a struggle sometimes. You are much more conscious of the scars you have now because of all the times you have stubbed your toes, scraped your fingers and bumped your shins. As you approach the summit you grow afraid because you might slip and fall. But then you stop and look back at where you’ve come from and realize how much farther you can see now and “Oh my,” the view is so much more majestic.

Would I want to be young again? Maybe some parts of it yes, but I’ve grown accustomed to the view. I think I’ll just keep climbing.

Having trouble seeing the way in your life? Need someone who’s been there before? Call Joe and Laurie Battaglia at Living the Dream Coaches…(888)505-5762.

Categories : Aging, Life Changes
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